Why leaders must stop gripping the steering wheel

Several years ago, a friend of mine stepped into a coveted leadership role at a fast-scaling tech company. Bright, capable, and deeply committed, she poured herself into every detail, attending all the meetings, approving every proposal, and editing every communication. Her rationale was simple: “I want everything to go right.” But after just nine months, her team was burnt out, her performance reviews slipped from glowing to guarded, and two high-potential employees quietly exited.

The irony? She was doing too much of what looked like “good leadership”. What began as attentiveness became overinvolvement. What started as diligence became a chokehold. The team didn’t lack talent; they lacked oxygen. And she, like many well-meaning leaders, had unintentionally swapped influence for control.

“The best leaders don’t hover. They architect trust systems. They create environments where excellence is expected and owned without needing to be hand-delivered.”

In last week’s column, we examined how performative listening erodes trust. This week, we shift from ears to hands: the invisible yet stifling grip of overmanagement.

Control is a leadership instinct, especially when stakes are high. But the problem arises when that instinct becomes the default. Micromanagement is not always loud. Sometimes it wears a smile and calls itself excellence. Sometimes it is justified as “protecting the brand” or “being thorough”. But beneath it often lies an anxious mistrust of the team’s capability or the leader’s capacity to let go.

According to a 2024 Gallup report, only 21 percent of employees strongly agree that their performance is managed in a way that motivates them to do outstanding work. A related study found that employees who feel overly supervised are 38 percent less likely to report creativity in their roles. Leaders who constantly intervene, re-do, or “hover” may believe they are being supportive. But to their teams, it feels more like suffocation disguised as stewardship.

Over-management isn’t always obvious in the mirror, but here is what it often looks like from the outside: projects stall until you weigh in, teammates seek permission for basic decisions, and people stop volunteering ideas. Why? Because micromanagement kills both speed and spirit.

The good news? Overcontrol is reversible, but it requires intentional rewiring. The first step is not delegating more tasks but confronting the deeper belief that your presence is the only safeguard against mediocrity. The best leaders don’t hover. They architect trust systems. They create environments where excellence is expected and owned without needing to be hand-delivered.

Here’s a practical framework I teach executives when coaching through the transition from control to empowerment. I call it open-palm leadership, a posture that releases, trusts, and multiplies.

Clarity over clutching

Most micromanagement stems from ambiguity. When people are not clear on what success looks like, leaders overreach. Instead, define expectations clearly: What does “done well” look like? What outcomes matter most? Equip people with vision, not just tasks.

Checkpoints over checklists

Replace constant task supervision with scheduled alignment moments. Weekly 15-minute “pulse checks” offer space for updates, coaching, and course correction without bottlenecking creativity. Set frameworks, then get out of the way.

Empowerment over editing

Let someone else’s 85 percent solution stand, especially if it meets the standard. Not everything needs your signature or syntax. Growth happens when people feel ownership, not when they feel overruled. Remember: Perfectionism in leadership often masks control issues.

Coaching over correction

Shift from “fixing mistakes” to helping others think through their decisions. Ask questions like, “What would you do differently next time?” or “What’s your take on why that approach didn’t land?” Leaders who teach people to think strengthen the whole culture.

Trust over territory

Leadership is not about guarding territory; it is about expanding trust. And trust is built not by absence but by restraint. When you allow others to carry vision and responsibility, you multiply your impact. As one CEO told me, “I didn’t scale my company until I stopped needing to control every pixel.”

Take the story of Nneka, a West African nonprofit director who oversaw 12 programs across 4 countries. In her early years, she reviewed every report and approved every strategy. Her team was efficient but exhausted. Realising she had become the bottleneck, she implemented an “Empowerment Cascade”, a system where every decision passed down required a “shadow decision-maker” trained to think, act, and decide like the lead.

Six months later, decisions were made faster, and morale surged. She didn’t lose oversight; she gained perspective. “I started managing outcomes, not opinions,” she told me. “That changed everything.”

Leadership is not about gripping tightly. It is about holding space for others to rise.

You don’t become indispensable by inserting yourself into every detail; you become invaluable by creating systems where people can thrive without your shadow overhead. If your presence makes people shrink, it is not leadership; it is control. But if your leadership expands the confidence of others and their contributions, you are truly leading with an edge.

So ask yourself this week: what do I need to loosen in order to lead better? What systems can I build to replace my supervision? What belief about excellence must I unlearn?

Because when control becomes containment, everyone loses. But when leadership is practised with an open palm, people don’t just follow; they flourish.

And isn’t that the real legacy we all want to leave?

What if the breakthrough your team is waiting for is not in your next decision but in your next release? What might happen if you led not with control but with courageous trust?

About the author:

Dr Toye Sobande is a strategic leadership expert, executive coach, lawyer, public speaker, and trainer. He is the CEO of Stephens Leadership Consultancy LLC, a strategy and management consulting firm offering creative insight and solutions to businesses and leaders. Email: [email protected]